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Clarifying Natalie Portman’s Hadassah Gift That Never Was

I pride myself on always trying to provide factual information on this blog. However, it has come to my attention that six years ago, in March 2005, I reposted a news report that the Jewish/Israeli actress Natalie Portman made a $50 million gift to Hadassah Hospital in Jerusalem. I didn’t provide any of my own commentary on the post, but simply reposted a news report that had been published on several other websites, based on Israel’s Arutz7. A Google search still retrieves many of the original news reports of Portman’s supposed gift from 2005. Here is what the Arutz7 website report about Portman’s donation looked like back in 2005:

The operative word in the Arutz7 article above is “including,” insinuating that a total of $50 million was received including a “large donation” by Natalie Portman. That was misinterpreted when it was reposted on the NataliePortman.org blog (clip below):

Now, Natalie Portman has won an Oscar and is starring in several big box office films. She is also making headlines for standing up to Dior’s John Galliano and speaking out against his anti-Semitic slurs. Hadassah issued a statement last week praising the actress for her courageous stand. And then, I’m sure some Google searches by Hadassah staff and members turned up the various blog posts from 2005 about the $5 million gift that turns out to be a misunderstanding.

So, six years went by and no one seemed to question this erroneous donation? I did a little research and it turns out that a woman named Phyllis commented on a blog in April 2005, stating “she [Portman] didn’t donate $50 million personally-they received donations of $50 million and her donation was included in that re-read the article: ‘Jerusalem’s Hadassah hospital received a $50 million donation last week including a large donation from one of the people born there — famed Jewish actress Natalie Portman.”

Early this week, I began receiving emails from Hadassah staff members inquiring about this supposed donation. And then I received this message from Hadassah:

“This ‘story’ was originally misreported exactly six years ago this month when Hadassah announced it had raised $50 million in just two short years from quite a variety of sources for a new center for emergency medicine. Natalie Portman appeared at the event but did not contribute to the center. For some unknown reason, last week, people began to re-circulate the very old, very wrong version of the story claiming that Portman had made a $50 million donation. Hadassah would be grateful if you would post a correction to this post. This was obviously no fault of yours. But these things quickly take on a life of their own. Thanks very much.”

So, I am hereby retracting the misinformation that was published on this blog in March 2005. Natalie Portman has been a strong supporter of Hadassah Hospital and I’m sure she will continue to be, however, she never made a $50 million donation to the expanded emergency trauma unit.

I’ll conclude this post by reminding everyone that the new Sarah Wetsman Davidson Tower at Hadassah Hospital, named for the mother of the late Jewish philanthropist Bill Davidson of Detroit, is still in need of funds and I encourage everyone to contribute to this important cause.

(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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Antisemitism Celebrities Hollywood Jewish Movies News Politics

Are Charlie Sheen, Glenn Beck, John Galliano and Julian Assange Anti-Semites?

Cross-posted to the Huffington Post

How does one know when someone’s comment is anti-Semitic? I suppose it’s the same as how United States Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart explained pornography in the 1964 case of Jacobellis v. Ohio: “I know it when I see it.”

There have been several high profile examples of anti-Semitic outbursts recently. And like famous anti-Semitic rants in the past, there has been much debate as to whether these recent cases should be classified as anti-Semitic. In all of these instances, one could argue that “I know it when I see it.”

There are times when a celebrity makes a poor choice, but is likely not being intentionally anti-Semitic. Examples are when Roseanne Barr dressed as Adolf Hitler and posed for a magazine and when Prince Harry went to a costume party in a Nazi uniform. However, when Mel Gibson repeatedly espoused his anti-Jewish feelings, there was no question about his motivation or true feelings.

In recent days, we’ve heard questionable comments by Charlie Sheen and Glenn Beck. We’ve seen video footage of Dior designer John Galliano expressing his love for Hitler and berating innocent people with anti-Semitic slurs. And a recent report said that WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange suggested that British journalists, including the editor of The Guardian, were engaged in a Jewish-led conspiracy to smear his organization.

Charlie Sheen, who continues to prove that his “Wild Thing” character in the movie “Major League” was pretty close to his real persona, referred to the executive producer of “Two and a Half Men” by his Hebrew name. Rather than calling him Chuck Lorre, Sheen referred to him as “Chaim Levine” and raised red flags throughout the media and in Jewish organizations. Not only has Sheen denied that there was any anti-Semitic undertone in his rant, he is now requesting that the Anti-Defamation League and its director Abe Foxman apologize to him for condemning his remarks.

It’s pretty obvious that Sheen’s not getting very good PR counsel these days (if any at all) because he expressed his admiration for Mel Gibson in an interview with Howard Stern. I don’t think Mel Gibson is the guy you want to bring into your corner when you’ve been accused of an anti-Semitic rant.

Glenn Beck recently apologized for his insult to Reform Jews. The Fox News talking head said Reform rabbis are “almost like radicalized Islam.” He was responding to a letter condemning his virulent attack on George Soros. I was one of several non-Reform rabbis who signed the letter urging Fox News to fire Beck. While I don’t agree with Soros’ politics and certainly find his views on Israel to be troubling, I understood Beck’s comments about Soros (comparing him to the Nazis) to be anti-Semitic in nature. While Beck will likely never apologize for his Soros tirade, it is telling that he apologized to the angered Reform (not “Reformed” as Beck called them) rabbis.

The anti-Semitic comments by Christian Dior designer John Galliano in a shocking videotape (see below) were quite obviously anti-Semitic. Dior has fired him for his hateful comments and he was arrested by French police over allegations that he abused a couple in an angry, drunken, anti-Semitic diatribe. Oscar winner Natalie Portman who represents Dior in perfume ads said she was disgusted with John Galliano over his anti-Semitic rants. In a written statement, Portman said, “In light of this video, and as an individual who is proud to be Jewish, I will not be associated with Mr Galliano in any way.”

Finally, Julian Assange’s comments seemed to be more paranoia than anti-Semitism. He suggested that British journalists were conspiring to smear his organization. The NY Times reports that Assange “was especially angry about a Private Eye report that Israel Shamir, an Assange associate in Russia, was a Holocaust denier. Mr. Assange complained that the article was part of a campaign by Jewish reporters in London to smear WikiLeaks.”

While Assange’s accusation does sound like the age-old charge that the Jews own and run the media, it might not be anti-Semitic. Rather, Assange is probably feeling like everyone is out to get him after the recent WikiLeaks dumps of classified information.

Are anti-Semitic comments on the rise? I don’t think so. Rather, there has been a trend of high-profile individuals making anti-Semitic statements. It’s entirely possible that these hate-filled tirades reveal the true sentiments of these celebrities. Hopefully, they will apologize for their outbursts and be more dignified and sane in the future.

(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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Celebrities Hollywood Humor Jewish Jon Stewart Movies Ritual Television

Jon Stewart Can Only Go Shofar

Last night, Jon Stewart decided to blow a shofar on “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” to alert his viewers to some breaking news (Keith Olbermann leaving MSNBC). He called it a News Shofar and announced “Something happened!” but never actually blew the shofar.  Instead he just put the shofar to his mouth and kept repeating the words “Hey Look” in a staccato fashion. It sort of sounded like a Tekiah blast followed by Teruah.

Technically, it didn’t look like a ram’s horn, but rather a gazelle’s horn. (Either one is sufficient to use on Rosh Hashanah.) Since Jon Stewart is a producer for The Colbert Report, I think he just borrowed the shofar that Stephen Colbert used to sign off at the end of his show back in 2009.

I wonder what it would take for Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert to come to my synagogue on Rosh Hashanah for a shofar duet?

Seeing Jon Stewart (Jewish) and Stephen Colbert (not-so-much) blowing the shofar got me thinking about Jewish rituals in which other celebrities have engaged. Here are a few that I was able to dig up:

Howie Mandell putting on tefillin

The Bob Dylan Tefillin

The Beastie Boys Playing Dreidel on Hanukkah

George Costanza, I mean Jason Alexander, Giving a Sermon in Synagogue

Ryan Gosling Leading Prayers (He looks like Eminem here!)


 Leonard Nimoy Duchenen (Blessing the Congregation)


Krusty the Klown Reading Torah


Rabbi Ben Stiller Teaching Torah


Darth Vader Waving the Lulav 
(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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American Jews Celebrities Hollywood Humor Jewish Jon Stewart Music

A Saturday Night Live Bar Mitzvah with Cee Lo Green

Jewish humor has always been one of my favorite topics to teach. I’ve taught classes about Jewish humor and Jewish comedians to teens and adults at many different settings including synagogues, Jewish camps, and on college campuses. As an aspiring stand-up comic, I have always been interested in the history of Jewish humor, what makes a Jewish joke funny, and why there have been so many successful Jewish comedians throughout the generations.

A sketch on last night’s episode of Saturday Night Live (SNL) provides much food for thought about Jewish humor. The SNL sketch parodies a lavish bar mitzvah for the nephew of a Hollywood exec that has performances by Taylor Swift (played by Gwyneth Paltrow), Jay-Z and Alicia Keys, Katy Perry, and Cee Lo Green. Jacob, the uncomfortable bar mitzvah boy, repeatedly claims that he told his father that he would have been content with just a “modest luncheon.”

The sketch is funny, but it also relies on some age old Jewish stereotypes that many will claim have run their course and aren’t funny anymore. When it comes to comedy, is everything fair game? I’ve always taught that ethnic humor has to have at least a hint of accuracy for it to be funny. There will surely be those who are offended by the many JAP (Jewish American Princess) references in Gwyneth Paltrow’s Taylor Swift impersonation in the bar mitzvah sketch. Parodying Taylor Swift’s song “You Belong With Me,” Paltrow sang: “She’s in synagogue with her new clear braces on / I’m sittin’ shiva with no mirrors to put makeup on / She doesn’t get your Mel Brooks humor like I do / She wears Macy’s, I wear Loehmann’s. She wears Filene’s and I wear Filene’s Basement / Can’t you see? She’s just a JAP. Not like Japanese.”

Up next performing at Jacob’s bar mitzvah was SNL comic Jay Pharoah (a last name that could be offensive to Jews, but isn’t) appearing as Jay-Z and singing his bar mitzvah version of “New York State of Mind” with Alicia Keys (Nasim Pedrad). He opens with the words, “While we read the Torah / Just to learn the word of God / Straight from Deuteronomy… Rabbi Josh Levi / I’m straight up withcha.” He then utters what I would imagine is the first reference to the Mishnah on late night network TV. Pharaoh (as Jay-Z) then gives a deep reference to both biblical kosher law and the theological perplexity of God’s ego: “Everything ain’t right cuz it’s dirty as shellfish / Don’t defy Yahweh cuz he’s mad selfish.”

As if this SNL sketch couldn’t get any more Jewish (or as Jon Stewart often says: “Jewy”), Jewish SNL cast member Abby Elliott sends up Katy Perry doing her Jewish version of “California Girls.” She enters with “Hi everybody, happy Jewish!” and then busts into the lyrics “Jacob just read from the Haftorah / Let’s all dance the Hora… Ashkenazi Jews they’re so incredible / And Sefardic Jews are cool too / West Bank represent despite your violence… Shalom you guys.”

Next, Cee Lo Green enters the bar mitzvah party in a giant fur coat singing his “F.U.” song, but with lyrics about the Hebrew language and how it sounds like gargling. He’s introduced by Jacob’s father who believes Cee Lo Green’s a “member of the tribe” based on his last name, but then says, “Or maybe not.” Referencing the ongoing joke about the older kids at the bar mitzvah party bending the metal forks, Cee Lo Green says, “What’s with this bending forks thing? I mean, that’s straight up meshuganeh man!” Something tells me that Lorne Michaels and Andy Sandberg had a bet to see if they could get Cee Lo Green to say something Yiddish.

The full video of the SNL bar mitzvah sketch is below. I will use it next Monday afternoon when I present a lunchtime discussion about Jewish humor at Temple Israel in West Bloomfield, Michigan. Aside from the question of appropriateness of some of the JAP jokes at the beginning of this SNL sketch, what is so interesting is that Jews only account for about 2% of the U.S. population and yet SNL devotes so much of its show to esoteric Jewish references. And this isn’t an isolated example either. On Thursday night, Conan O’Brien joked that the new Disney theme park in Israel wouldn’t use the nickname “The Happiest Place on Earth,” but rather “It Could Be Worse.” Conan then spent a couple minutes showing off his impression of a Jewish person. On Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show,” Jon Stewart also makes not-so-subtle references to Jewish themes on his show. Last week on one of his shows, he compared the members of Congress coming up to the microphone on the first day of the congressional session to read a line from the Constitution with “the dramatic chops of family members who demand to be called to the bimah for your bar mitzvah.”

I’m not sure if the Jewish writers on SNL thought Purim was much closer than it actually is, but I will say that they did a great Purim shpiel last night.

(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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Benjamin Millepied Celebrities Hollywood Jewish Justin Bieber Movies Natalie Portman

Is Justin Bieber Jewish?

Is Justin Bieber Jewish? Is Natalie Portman’s fiancee, Benjamin Millepied, Jewish? Based on my Web research, neither one is Jewish. However, there are many people wondering these questions and doing what curious people do in the Digital Age — turning to Google.

There are two components to blogging I enjoy most. First, I love writing. Second, I love looking at the analytics to see through which portals visitors have arrived at my blog. Looking at the referral statistics, there is an overwhelming number of Web surfers who are referred to my blog after inquiring about a celebrity’s faith; specifically, whether they are Jewish.

While Jewish people may only account for less than 2 percent of the U.S. population, we have provided society with a vastly disproportionate number of celebrities — from actors and musicians to authors, producers and directors. No, Jews don’t own Hollywood in the antisemitic canard conspiracy theory way, but there are certainly a lot of “Members of the Tribe” in Hollywood.

When celebrities do the things that only Jewish people have traditionally done, everyone wants to know if they are Jewish or just playing the part. For instance, Kabbalah (Jewish mysticism) has been embraced by Madonna, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, and Brittany Spears, but none of them were born Jewish or have converted to the faith. Robin Williams does a great Yiddish accent on stage while telling Jewish jokes, but he’s an Episcopalian. The former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson has announced plans to open a kosher restaurant, but converted to Islam. The French dance choreographer Benjamin Millepied will marry the Israeli Natalie Portman, with Israeli roots, but he doesn’t appear to be of the Jewish faith.

And though the teen pop sensation Justin Bieber is not Jewish, he has a ritual of saying the most important statement to the Jewish people before each of his concerts. It turns out that his agent, Scott “Scooter” Braun, taught Bieber the “Shema Yisrael” and now the 16-year-old says those Hebrew words (in addition to a Christian prayer) before taking the stage.

It’s human nature to try and know as much as we can about our celebrities. So, it should come as no surprise that fans are curious as to whether Bieber’s Jewish or if Natalie Portman is marrying within the Jewish faith. After all, a person’s faith can be a private matter and as the National Enquirer has always said when it comes to celebrities, “Inquiring minds want to know.”

(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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Celebrities Hanukkah Holidays Hollywood Humor Jewish Rabbi Rabbis Television

Jimmy Kimmel Against the Rabbi

What’s the deal with Jimmy Kimmel and rabbis? This year alone, ABC’s late night talk show host has featured three rabbis (or almost rabbis) on his show. Kimmel used to date comedian Sarah Silverman whose sister Susan is a Reform rabbi living on a kibbutz in Israel.

Back in April, Yuri Foreman was a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live!. The WBA super welterweight champion was introduced by Kimmel as a future rabbi who studies Talmud. The video of the future rabbi’s interview with Kimmel can be seen here.

Last week, Jimmy Kimmel explained the Hanukkah story to his millions of viewers and then showed the video of Chabad Rabbi Shlomo Cunin of California with Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Kimmel wished a “Happy first night of Hanukkah to our Jewish viewers. Tonight is the first night of eight nights of celebrating and misspelling hanukkah. Or maybe there is no correct way to spell it.” He even suggested that the Jewish holiday could be spelled Chaka Khan. The video is of Rabbi Shlomo Cunin and Governor Schwarzenegger at the 17th annual menorah lighting at the State Capitol in Sacramento.

Those rabbinic appearances seemed to go okay, but now Jimmy Kimmel is in some trouble for a video shtick he did in August. Kimmel is being sued by Rabbi Dovid Sandek, the flamboyant ultra-Orthodox rabbi who goes by the “Flying Rabbi” and whose YouTube videos have become popular. Rabbi Sondik claims his image was used without his consent when Kimmel used a YouTube video segment on the show that poked fun at basketball superstar LeBron James’ free agency decision this past summer.

Yahoo! News reports that, “According to a complaint filed in New York Supreme Court on December 10, Kimmel in August was trying to make a joke about reports that LeBron James had met with Rabbi Yishayahu Yosef Pinto for business advice. Kimmel claimed that he himself had met with Rabbi Pinto for advice and showed the audience a video of the exchange. The rabbi shown speaking to Kimmel appears to be Rabbi Sandek, not Rabbi Pinto.”

Rabbi Dovid Sandek The Flying Rabbi

Sandek claims he was made to “look foolish” and presented as a “laughingstock.” While the late night show did get permission to use the TMZ owned footage of LeBron James with Rabbi Pinto, it never licensed the YouTube clips of Rabbi Sandek. Oops! Now the video of Jimmy Kimmel getting advice from the rabbi (Sandek) has been removed from the Web as the lawsuit is pending.

(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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Antisemitism Celebrities Hollywood Movies

Hangover 2 Trades Mel Gibson for Liam Neeson

Here’s my latest post for the Community Next blog “Rabbi J in the D”:

After Mel Gibson made “The Passion of the Christ” movie a few years ago, he lost many of his Jewish fans.

After Mel Gibson made his anti-Semitic sentiments known by freaking out at a cop a few years ago, he lost the rest of his Jewish fans.

So, this summer when his wife Oksana Grigorieva (who has a Jewish father according to some reports) made his sexist and racist rants public, most Jewish people had already come to the conclusion that Mel’s nuts. Even if he is anti-Semitic and might even share some of his father’s notorious Holocaust denial views, “Meshugana Mel” had become more of a punchline in the Jewish community than an ADL-level concern.

Now, Mel seems to have divided Hollywood. Whoopi Goldberg recently defended Mel and tried to convince everyone that he’s not a racist. Zach Galifinakis, on the other hand, recently refused to work with Mel on the Hangover sequel, in which they wanted him to play a crazy cab driver.

So, Mel is no longer going to be in the Hangover 2 movie. Who did they get to replace him? None other than Liam Neeson — the man who played the man who saved hundreds of Jews in Steven Spielberg’s Holocaust film “Schindler’s List.”

No word yet on what Mel Gibson’s father thinks of that!

(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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Celebrities Hollywood Humor Jewish Social Justice

Star-Studded American Jewish World Service Public Service Announcement

I often hear complaints that Jewish organizations don’t market themselves well. Even when they try to be cool and attract the younger demographic, they often fail by being hokey or forcing the humor.

Well, the American Jewish World Service has solved that problem. The solution is as simple as having Judd Apatow round up his A-List celeb friends and giving them a hilarious script to read on camera. And that’s exactly what Apatow did for the 25th anniversary of the American Jewish World Service, which celebrated that milestone as well as the 70th birthday of the AJWS director Ruth Messinger at a $1,000 per ticket event at Jazz at Lincoln Center.

The video is extremely funny, but it’s also a bit racy with some of comedian Sarah Silverman’s patented minority humor. For that reason (and probably a few others), the public service announcement begins with a disclaimer that it is not approved by AJWS.

I considered listing my favorite parts of the PSA, but there are just too many. The video includes Don Johnson, Gilbert Gottfried, Sarah Silverman, John Mayer, Jerry Seinfeld, Susan Sarandon, Sir Patrick Stewart, Andy Samberg, Ken Jeong, Tracy Morgan, Helen Hunt, Dane Cook, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Denis Leary, Triumph the Insult Comedy Dog (Yes, he’s Jewish!), and many others.

Watch the entire video to the end so you don’t miss celebrities trying to speak Yiddish, Ben Stiller suggesting to rename the organization “JAWS” to get publicity on Discovery Channel’s Shark Week, Brian Williams attempting a Tevye impersonation, and Lindsey Lohan shouting “Challah!”

Okay, here’s the video:

(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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Celebrities Facebook Hollywood Rabbi

Aaron Sorkin is Not Mark Zuckerberg’s Rabbi

In Entertainment Weekly‘s review of “The Social Network,” there is a wonderful quote from the film’s writer Aaron Sorkin (of “The West Wing” fame). In defending his decision to make the movie, which is critical of Facebook’s founder, Sorkin explains that he is not Mark Zuckerberg’s rabbi.

Here’s the entire quote:

The famously fast-talking Sorkin turns almost somber as he discusses the harm his movie could do to the 26-year-old tech tycoon’s reputation. “I’ll be honest with you, there were times when I had misgivings, when I felt like, he’s just too young, and a movie fires such a loud cannon shot, that maybe I shouldn’t do this,” says Sorkin. Then, sounding surer, he adds, “It’s not my job to help his image. I’m not his press rep or his rabbi. But in the end, I didn’t feel like I was damaging him. I felt like I was painting a painting of him, as opposed to taking a picture of him.”

(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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Celebrities Education Hollywood Humor Movies Television

Why Tony Danza Should Stay Out of the Classroom (& Reality TV)

Here’s my latest blog post for Community Next’s “Rabbi J in the D” (a Jewish celeb blog):

One evening in the summer of 2000 when I was working as a chaplain intern at Beaumont Hospital in Royal Oak, I walked into one of those family waiting rooms outside of the patient unit. The television was turned on to a new reality TV show called “Survivor.” I watched for about ten minutes and then promised myself that I would no longer watch reality television. Ever. Again.

So, it’s been over a decade and reality TV has taken us from people trying to survive on a deserted island to families with too many kids and too many problems. From celebrities in need of rehab and dance lessons to Italians in New Jersey. I still don’t watch any of that. Some would say it’s my loss for not watching “The Bachelor” or “American Idol,” but I think it’s a wise move.

But then I heard that Tony Danza was coming back to TV. This time he wouldn’t be a housekeeper, but a public high school teacher. And I thought to myself, “This is not going to go very well.” I had to tune in (or at least set my DVR since I’m a little busy as a rabbi on Friday evenings!).

If you haven’t seen A&E’s “Teach: Tony Danza,” I recommend you don’t. The former “Who’s The Boss” and “Taxi” star is teaching 10th grade English for this new reality show. When I watched a little bit of the show, I immediately thought about all the other actors who would be better teachers than Tony Danza. In fact, since this is a Jewish celebrity blog, I came up with a list of Jewish actors who already have teaching experience on TV or the big screen.

Here’s my list:

Richard Dreyfuss (“Mr. Holland’s Opus”)

Ben Stein (“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”)

Bridgette Wilson (Veronica Vaughn in “Billy Madison”)
*She’s not Jewish, but her husband, Tennis player Pete Sampras, has a Jewish paternal grandmother

Jeremy Piven (“Old School”)

Harry Shearer (Voice of Seymour Skinner on “The Simpsons”)

Gabe Kaplan (“Welcome Back Kotter”)

Honorable Mentions (They’re not Jewish):

  • Paul Gleason (“Breakfast Club”)
  • Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding in “Saved By the Bell”)
  • Robin Williams (“Dead Poet Society”)
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger ( “Kindergarten Cop”)
  • Tina Fey (“Mean Girls”)

The bottom line is: Anyone but Tony Danza!
(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller