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Danny Gordis on Chrismukkah, Falwell, and Zionism

Rabbi Danny Gordis, in his latest e-mail message, argues that the Right’s recent push to bring Christmas back to a religious Christian holiday and to make the U.S. realize that it really is a Christian nation (no kidding?) is actually great for the Jews and even better for the State of Israel. Here’s a snippet, but the full text is available at DanielGordis.org.

Which is why, I submit, Jerry Falwell has unintentionally done the Jews an enormous favor. If Gibson and Falwell accidentally remind Jews that America is, without question, a Christian nation, they might prompt Jews to reflect and to ask, “What do our children need to know, and what do they need to think about as they’re growing up, if they’re to survive in this environment?” It’s a set of questions that might, if we’re fortunate, lead to the desperately needed revitalization of American
Jewish education and the questions at its core.

Seen that way, a bit of Christmas could do American Jews some good.

And Christmas could help Zionism, too, by helping American Jews see what is truly important about Israel.

(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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New Israeli Plan Unveiled – Get Arik down to 167

Rabbi Jason MillerBreaking News

Ariel Sharon reportedly weighs 312 pounds.

Ma’ariv published the statistic Thursday following speculation over whether the portly Israeli prime minister was dangerously heavy.

Sharon was briefly hospitalized for a stroke earlier this week, drawing dieting advice from the likes of President Bush. Ma’ariv quoted Sharon’s doctors as saying he should shed 145 pounds.

(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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Wolpe officially out of running for JTS Chancellorship

While I suspected this from a personal e-mail I received from Rabbi David Wolpe a few days after his speech at the Seminary and then heard through rumors, it is now official that Rabbi Wolpe will not be considered for the Chancellor position at the Jewish Theological Seminary by his own choice.
Rabbi Jason Miller and Rabbi Alan Silverstein
Based on what I believe and what I hear, this leaves Rabbi Gordon Tucker and Rabbi Alan Silverstein on the short list. I’ve heard that Jack Wertheimer will not be considered. The other possibilities would be current Vice Chancellor Rabbi Michael Greenbaum and Federation Exec and former Vice Chancellor John Ruskay. Knowing Alan Silverstein as I do, I think he would make a fine choice for this position and I wouldn’t be surprised if he were seriously considered.

Here’s the article from the LA Jewish Times:

Wolpe Out of the Running for JTS Head

b
y David Finnigan and Amy Klein

Rabbi David Wolpe has removed himself from consideration for the job of leading the Jewish Theological Seminary (JTS) in New York. Wolpe, of Sinai Temple in Westwood, had been widely considered a front-runner for chancellor at JTS, the central institution in Conservative Judaism.

Rabbi David WolpeBut last week, Wolpe told Sinai’s board of directors that he would remain with the temple, effectively shortening the rumored short list of JTS finalists.

Although there have been no official interviews of candidates for chancellor, Wolpe’s speech last month at the seminary and meetings with officials there had insiders and media reports speculating that he had to viewed among the front-runners.

Rabbi Ismar Shorsh, the chancellor for 20 years, will retire in June. A search committee is quietly and secretly feeling out potential replacements. The JTS chancellor is generally regarded as the leader of the Conservative movement and the next one must confront the challenge of dwindling membership and divisive issues, such as the movement’s policy on not ordaining openly gay or lesbian rabbis.

Wolpe, 47, told The Journal that he made his announcement because he didn’t want to create unease among his congregants.

“This is our centennial year and we have tremendous plans for the future to see through what we’ve started together,” Wolpe said.

Wolpe has been leader of the synagogue for the last eight and a half years. With another one and a half years on his contract, he has already begun negotiating his next term.

“To be the chancellor of the seminary is a tremendous opportunity, but it’s not the right opportunity for me and my family at this time of my life,” he said. As for the next chancellor of JTS, Wolpe said, “I hope they will find someone who represents the movement as well as the institutions.” -Amy Klein, Religion Editor

(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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It’s Chrismukkah all over TV Land

Okay, so while I am a fan of Seinfeld and I thought the Festivus idea (the December 23 holiday for the “rest of us”) was funny, it seems that this whole “Chrismukkah” thing is getting out of hand.

This new-age creation that intertwines Christmas and Hanukkah began a couple of years ago with an episode of Fox’s teen soap opera “The O.C.” I don’t watch the show but my wife explained that the character Seth Cohen (played by real Jew Adam Brody) created the faux holiday for his interfaith (Protestant-Jewish) family. Now the show has its annual “Chrismukkah” episode. This year (again second-hand info from the wife), they even went so far as to create a “The Chrismukkah Bar Mitz-vahkkah” so a youngster will rake in some Bar Mitzvah gift money for the family. Nice!

Rabbi Jason MillerThe Chrismukkah idea has been turned into a major moneymaking operation on its own. The O.C. producer Warner Bros. is now selling Chrismukkah greeting cards, T-shirts, photo albums, and more online.

And the O.C. isn’t the only show on TV capitalizing off the Chrismukkah idea. “Girlfriends” is another show I have never watched (or even heard of before). I’m told from an e-mail sent out over the Conservative Rabbi listserv that it “is a popular series on UPN about four young Black women, their lives, loves, and lamentations.” Rabbi Elliot Gertel, a colleague from Chicago, writes in an article published on the Jewish World Review website that [“Girlfriends”] is the last place that most TV viewers would have looked for a Chanukah and Christmas episode, yet it is a very worthwhile place for such a theme. The show’s energy, wit and pathos serve it well in exploring any serious theme, with appropriate humor.”

He goes on to write “The episode, “All G-d’s Children,” begins with Toni (Jill Marie Jones) showing her friends a power point presentation she has prepared in video to impress the judge presiding over her custody battle for baby daughter Morgan with her ex husband, Todd (Jason Pace). She has decided that her willingness to expose the baby both to her Black heritage and to Todd’s Jewish heritage will win her points in court. She highlights both Christmas and Chanukah and even throws in a “mazal tov” for good measure. She has even agreed to invite Todd and his mother, along with her family and friends, in order to celebrate Christmas and Chanukah together, since the first candle falls on Christmas Day. The combined celebration is a disaster from the start.”

Really? I’m shocked! I’m all for holidays and ritual. I just think these holidays should be kept separate. If someone chooses to celebrate another faith’s holiday, Ge Gesundt! But there is no getting away from this silly notion of trying to weave two very different religious tradition’s holy days together. So while I was delighted to see my 2-year-old’s favorite TV show “Blue’s Clues” include Hanukkah in a recent episode, I was less than thrilled when the song they taught my son went something like this:

Deck the halls with a Menorah, falalalalalalalala!

Although I must admit it was cute when he surprised me with his cute rendition of “Jingle Bells” which of course he learned from Blue’s Clues.

So, it is the festive holiday season and there’s no getting away from it. What else can I do but wish everyone a Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Joyous Kwanzaa, Season’s Greetings, or just “enjoy the winter and try to stay warm.”

If you want to get me a gift, you missed your chance because all I really wanted this holiday season was for someone to come to my home and pull out the plugs on all my TVs so I wouldn’t have wasted that half hour on the hour-long VH1 special “So Jewtastic.”

If this time of year (“The December Dilemma”) really gets to you, don’t worry… Spring is almost here. And that means it will soon be time for more holidays! Eastover (Easter+Passover) anyone?

(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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Palestinians Celebrate Ariel Sharon’s Stroke

From israellycool.com

[After Ariel Sharon’s stroke put him in the hospital, he was heard] making jokes, replete with double entendres.

“I’m fine,” he said. “Apparently I should have taken a few days off for vacation. But we’re continuing to move forward.” [This is] a play on the name of his new party, Kadima, which means “forward.” Some other people seemingly with a sense of humor are the people at Reuters:



A Palestinian youth celebrates in Gaza after hearing that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon was moved into hospital December 18, 2005. (Suhaib Salem/Reuters)

Youth? Seems to me like another attempt to mitigate the potential damage to the neo-Palestinian cause (which these pictures might bring), by portraying the celebrants as merely misguided youth. Either that, or the neo-Palestinians age really quickly.

Here are some more pictures of the celebrations, with captions I imagine AP and Reuters would have preferred to have used:


Palestinians pray for the speedy recovery of Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon in a street of downtown Gaza City after hearing news of Sharon’s health condition. (AP Photo)


A Palestinian man does the dance of joy, despite the risk of impaling his groin on the edge of the car window, when hearingthat Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon was making a recovery afterhaving suffered a minor stroke. (REUTERS)


A Palestinian squeegieman hands out sweets to a customer after hearing that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon was making a recovery after having suffered a minor stroke. (AP)

(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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From the Bush League

Rabbi Jason Miller“I can’t imagine someone like Saddam Hussein understanding the meaning of Hanukkah.”
-President George W. Bush

(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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"A Jewcy Chanukah"

From the New York Times

A Happy Hipster Hanukkah
By STEPHANIE ROSENBLOOM

HELLOOOOOOOO Jews!” the M.C. shouted to the 1,000 or so people sipping drinks and jostling elbows in the hazy purple light of Crobar, the Chelsea club, on Sunday evening. Disco balls twinkled. Electric menorahs glowed. In the candlelighted V.I.P. area, people bit into chocolate Hanukkah gelt. From a stage on the dance floor Rachel Dratch of “Saturday Night Live” bemoaned being Jewish at Christmastime, and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, the foul-mouthed puppet, belted out a joyous rendition of “Shalom Aleichem.” It was not long before people were waving their arms above their heads and lobbing inflatable dreidels through the air like beach balls.

There was a name for this merriment: “A Jewcy Chnukah,” a freewheeling celebration of the holiday produced by Jewcy, a group that brings together young Jews through celebrity-filled events. (Proceeds from Sunday night went to Natan, a philanthropic organization that supports projects that engage young Jews in their religion and heritage.) At the end of the evening, which included performances by the rocker Perry Farrell and the cast of “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee,” Jon Steingart, a founder of Jewcy, peered down at the packed dance floor. “This,” he said, “bodes very well.”
Rabbi Jason Miller
“A Jewcy Chanukah” is but one of many kitschy celebrations that in the past few years have made comedy as much a part of Hanukkah as latkes and sour cream. The irreverent and sometimes R-rated Hanukkah productions, popping up during what many people have called a Jewish hipster moment, are largely a reaction to what many Jews say is an overwhelming amount of Christmas hoopla. Their humor-laden productions attract thousands of young Jews (some of whom have never gravitated toward their own culture before) and, perhaps inadvertently, raise the question of what it means to be Jewish.

“We have 12 months of the year to assert our Jewish identity, so why now?” said Rob Tannenbaum, one half of the variety show “What I Like About Jew.” “The time of year that I feel most like a minority group is Christmas.”

Mr. Tannenbaum said he tries to convey his feelings to his Christian friends by asking them to imagine this: “Everywhere you go strangers say to you, ‘Merry Ramadan.’ Anywhere you go you can’t get into a store because people are bowing to Mecca. You’d be an angry minority. You’d be like, ‘Enough of this Ramadan all ready.’ “

Christmas has gotten out of hand, said Jackie Hoffman, who is starring in “Chanukah at Joe’s Pub,” a one-woman show. “No one does ‘The Sukkot Revue,’ ” she said, referring to the autumnal Jewish holiday, “because then we’re not being badgered.”

Some Jews feel Hanukkah, which begins this year at sundown on Dec. 25, is the perfect time for comic relief because it is not a significant holiday. “We don’t do this with Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashana,” said Joshua Neuman, the editor in chief and publisher of Heeb magazine. “There’s an added comedic value in that we know it is largely the result of American commodity culture.”

Hanukkah is a minor, generally child-centered holiday that celebrates the victory of the Jews over the Syrian Greeks around 165 B.C. No classic Hanukkah films or ballets were inspired by it. There is no “Miracle on Hester Street,” no “Radio City Hanukkah Spectacular.” Jewish songwriters have been more inclined to compose Christmas songs, including many of the most beloved: “White Christmas” (Irving Berlin), “The Christmas Song: Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” (Mel Tormé) and “We Need a Little Christmas” (Jerry Herman), to name but three. Adam Sandler’s 1995 “Hanukkah Song,” in which he enumerates Jewish (and semi-Jewish) celebrities, is the closest thing to a mainstream Hanukkah tune.

“I think Sandler was the catalyst for a lot of this,” said Robert Smigel, the voice (and hand) behind Triumph, after his performance on Sunday. “A lot of that was him asserting himself as a Jew.”

In 1997 the creators of “South Park” mined the potential agony of being a Jewish child during December with the lament, “It’s Hard to be a Jew on Christmas.” By 2003 T-shirts that read “Jewcy” were selling like potato hot cakes, and Jewish hip-hop went from a simmer to a boil. On Monday VH1 will attempt to understand why Judaism is all the rage with a pop culture special called “So Jewtastic.” An excerpt from the show’s press material reads, “In an age when Madonna demands to be called ‘Esther,’ Jon Stewart is a sex symbol and seemingly everyone speaks a little Yiddish, it’s never been hipper to be a Jew.”

Chris Mazzilli, the owner of Gotham Comedy Club, said its annual “A Very Jewish Christmas” is one of its most successful shows. This year he expects about 800 people, up from about 400 last year.

“For us it was a lot easier six years ago,” Mr. Tannenbaum said. “There was a lot less competition on Christmas Eve. It was us or the Matzo Ball. Our only competition was a bunch of pathetic Jewish singles trying to drink enough Manischewitz to forget that they were probably going to be alone on New Year’s Eve.”

This year “What I Like About Jew” will have its largest tour ever, a six-city romp around the East Coast. “Like most other trends,” Mr. Tannenbaum said, “the Jewish holiday hipster started in New York and has spread outward.”

The movement is likely to only go so far, said Rabbi Marc Gellman, part of “The God Squad,” an interfaith cable television show, and a Newsweek.com columnist. “This revival is primarily a New York-L.A. thing, and it’s the result of the fact that the only geographical region that has a majority of Jews outside Israel is Manhattan,” he said. “If you live in Wichita, the new hip Jewish movement will never reach you.”

That these Hanukkah shows tend to be the product of secular Jews also keeps the mood light.

Over the last three years more and more young Jews have been flaunting their heritage, donning T-shirts that proclaim their Semitic roots, listening to the Hasidic reggae singer Matisyahu and climbing onto the celebrity-driven kabbalah bandwagon. And though many occupy the same Lower East Side walk-ups that their grandparents once did, they are not interested in quietly assimilating. They identify more with the cultural trappings of Judaism – the music, the cuisine, the humor – than with the teachings of the Torah.

“We ourselves are less observant Jews, but we are still very culturally Jewish,” Mr. Steingart of Jewcy said. The comedian Rebecca Drysdale is of like mind. “My connection with being Jewish is not a religious one,” she said. “It’s cultural.”

Mr. Neuman explained: “There’s this emerging sense of new Jewish culture that is self-consciously postdenominational and largely devoid of religious context.”

But those who define themselves as “cultural” Jews may alter their definitions over time, Rabbi Gellman said. “When they have kids,” he said, “they’ll say: ‘What do you mean? Of course my kid will have a bar mitzvah.’ ” He also pointed out that while some people call themselves “cultural” Jews, “Judaism defines identity by blood, not by belief.” Translation: If your mother is Jewish, so are you.

“I think they know very little about Judaism, but they seem to be crying out for some identity,” said Ms. Hoffman, who has nine years of yeshiva under her belt. “I don’t know if this generation knows much about Sophie Tucker and Mort Sahl and George Jessel. I think they’re just grasping for something during such an unbelievable onslaught,” she said, referring to the Christmas season. It is good that people are grasping, she explained, but added that taking a Judaism class can be worthwhile. “Investigate before you declare yourself a Jew in name only,” she said. “It’s not so bad.”

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog riffed on that topic on Sunday night. “Jewcy is the bold new movement of cool Jews,” Triumph said, his gravelly voice dripping with sarcasm. “Yeah, we want to be cool. We’re Jews, like the Beasties! We don’t want to be nerdy, like Einstein.” Then he admonished: “Crack open a Torah. Learn something. That’s right! I’m lecturing you bitches!”

The lecture came lovingly gift wrapped in humor, but like many jokes it contained an element of truth. “It’s not just a kitschy subject matter,” Mr. Smigel said later. “It can be reduced to that, and that’s a fear of the older generation. I feel very lucky that I got to get a real education in the religion.”

Some people do not enjoy the new Hanukkah shows. “The older generation is often uncomfortable with our performances,” Mr. Tannenbaum said. “There is a sense that was common in an older generation that you shouldn’t do anything that could be bad for the Jews. Don’t be loud. Don’t be vulgar. Don’t be proud. Blend in. Assimilate. Finish college.”

During the first song in “What I Like About Jew” (one of the milder lyrics is “She puts the whore in hora”), Mr. Tannenbaum said he usually hears “a chair scraping and a pair of orthopedic shoes leaving the room.”

No such exit was made at “A Jewcy Chanukah” on Sunday. After two hours of music and comedy, Perry Farrell mixed the sacred and secular by singing “Avenu Malkenu” and “Jane Says.” Then he curled his string bean body over a microphone and cried, “Happy Hanukkah!” in a voice so joyful, he might as well have shouted, “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”

(c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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OY! VH1 IS "SO JEWTASTIC"

“VH1 ALL ACCESS: SO JEWTASTIC” PREMIERES DECEMBER 19 at 9 PM

In an age when Madonna demands to be called “Esther,” Jon Stewart is a sex symbol and seemingly everyone speaks a little Yiddish, it’s never been hipper to be a Jew. VH1’s “All Access Presents: So Jewtastic” celebrates everything you knew- and lots of stuff you didn’t about being Jewish.

Thanks to a mensch laden panel of pundits, “So Jewtastic” premiering Monday, December 19 at 9 PM, will answer questions like: Why is it hip to be a Jew? (the trendy rise of Kabbalah,) Are Jews crunk? (the marriage of Jews and hip hop) and what’s the deal with Jewish stereotypes (money, sex and sports)? Jackie Mason will give classic lessons in “Yiddish 101” and an attempt will be made to figure out once and for all why Jews are so funny. So put down that gefilte fish and pop open some Manischewitz, being Jewish has never been “So Jewtastic!”
Rabbi Jason Miller
A variety of music artists, TV and film stars, comedians, journalists and other celebrities come together to dish on all things Jewish, including Brooke Burke, Ben Lee, Evan Seinfeld, Scott Ian, Matisyahu, Darryl McDaniels, Jackie Mason, Dr. Ruth, comedian Elon Gold, Dustin Diamond, Baby the rapper, LA Time’s Joel Stein, Warner Music Group’s chairman and CEO Lyor Cohen, Ron Jeremy, Rob Tannenbaum from the rock band What I Like About Jew, Atlantic Records’ president Julie Greenwald, Bill Adler and Heeb magazine’s Josh Neuman.

The show will cover topics such as:

  • Jewish Stereotypes: “So Jewtastic” does not tip toe around the lingering stereotypes surrounding the Jewish community and asks whether there’s any truth to the tired old assumptions about the Jewish mother, neuroses and sex.
  • It’s Hip To Be A Jew: Everywhere you look, on TV, in the movies and in music there’s a homie of Moses. From Madonna practicing Kabbalah to Seth from the OC to Orlando Bloom in Troy, it is now cool to be Jewish. Even non-Jews like Demi Moore and Britney are proudly wearing red string bracelets.
  • Yiddish 101: Class is in session as Jackie Mason explains the meaning of various Yiddish words.
  • Oy? Yo!: VH1 will remix both Jewish and hip hop culture as it examines the bizarre intersection of Jews and Hip Hop. Jews have always worked behind the scenes in hip-hop (Def Jam was Co-Founded by Rick Rubin and Lyor Cohen just to name a few) but now it seems like most Jewish kids are drawn to hip-hop more than ever. See the first ever Jewish/ hip hop”Bling Off”, as rap superstar, Baby, teaches a Jewish Bubbe (grandmother) the basics of blinging properly.
  • From The Shtetl To Heavy Metal: Jews have played a key role in Hard Rock/Heavy Metal (Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, David Lee Roth and many more). Is that the reason Jews are so loud…in music that is? Rockers Evan Seinfeld of Biohazard and Scott Ian of Anthrax provide their take on the heebs who head bang, Bar Mitzvah pics included.
  • Jews In Comedy: VH1 tickles your funny bone as we explore what’s so funny about being Jewish. Even non-Jewish families on TV are Jewish (and played by Jewish actors), like the Costanzas on ‘Seinfeld.’ We send comedian Elon Gold to the famous Canter’s deli in LA on a quest for answers to questions even some Jews can’t answer with a segment titled: “Jew got questions, Jew got answers.” What is a mohel? Why is there a hole in the middle of a bagel? Do you like gefilte fish enough to try it on TV?
  • Jews In Sports: From wrestler Goldberg to baseball star Shawn Green to Jay Fiedler of the NY Jets, Jews are getting down and dirty. And the very few of them are surprisingly good at it.

    For more information .

    (c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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    RabbiCops

    From the JTA

    Israeli ‘rabbicops’ probed

    Hundreds of Israeli policemen are believed to be obtaining rabbinical ordination to boost their salaries.
    RabbiCop by Rabbi Jason Miller - rabbijason.com
    Citing Justice Ministry sources, Ha’aretz reported in a weekend expose that as many as 600 policemen have taken courses for the Orthodox clergy so they could receive $430 monthly stipends.

    According to the newspaper, some of the “rabbicops” are openly secular, and the sages administering the ordination courses have been known to allow their students to abbreviate the studies for the sake of convenience.

    Police spokesmen declined comment on the affair, citing a probe already under way.

    (c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller
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    I wonder if this works for Hebrew too?

    Can you read this?
    Olny srmat poelpe can.

    I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd
    waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

    (c) Rabbi Jason Miller | http://blog.rabbijason.com | Twitter: @RabbiJason | facebook.com/rabbijasonmiller