Tag: Uncle

Categories
Death Family

Mourning For My Infant Nephew

“When Bad Things Happen to Good People” – Those words, the title of a book by my teacher Rabbi Harold Kushner, keep echoing in my head. Tragedy has struck my family. We planned to go to Chicago last week where I would have the honor of being both the uncle and the rabbi at my newborn nephew’s bris. Instead we’re headed to Chicago today – a week later than planned – where I will have the unfortunate responsibility to be both the uncle and the rabbi at my nephew’s funeral. We’re grieving.A little more than a week ago I searched the Web for an appropriate blessing to say on becoming an uncle. Not finding anything, I wrote my own blessing. Last night I searched the Web desperately seeking what one says at the funeral of an 11-day-old baby. The answer is nothing. We’re speechless.

When my nephew was born I wrote about Abraham of the Torah and his role as uncle to Lot. He took his nephew under his wing, cared for him and protected him. Today I unfortunately look to another uncle in the Torah. Moses mourned the death of his two nephews Nadav and Avihu. The Torah relates that the boys’ father — Moses’ brother Aaron — was speechless. So too must Uncle Moses have been in his mourning of this sudden death. We’re in shock.

On the Shabbat when the Torah portion was Parashat Vayechi (And he lived), my nephew died. On the Shabbat in which we learn of the blessings Jacob bestowed upon his sons, my sister-in-law and brother-in-law began to come to terms with the harsh reality that they will never bless their son as Jacob did. On the Shabbat when the Congregation of Israel stands upon finishing the first book of the Torah and, preparing to open the next chapter, proclaims “Chazak chazak v’nitchazek” (Be strong, be strong and let us be strengthened), my family feels weak. From creation there will be no next chapter for my nephew. We’re weakened.

Baruch Dayan Ha-Emet. May the soul of my innocent nephew Rylan Foster Gelb (Yitzchak Chaim) be bound up in the bond of eternal life and may he rest in peace. There is no more to say.

Categories
Blessings Family

Blessing For Becoming An Uncle For First Time

“Uncle Jason” — I really like the sound of that! Yesterday evening as my children and I kindled seven Hanukkah candles on the hanukkiyah, I received the anticipated phone call from my wife who was at a hospital in Chicago with her sister. “It’s a boy,” she said, and with those words I became an uncle. I told my children and watched them jump for joy with the news that they now had a first cousin.The Hebrew word for uncle is dod (דוד), which sounds a lot like the word “dad.” It is also the same word the Torah uses for beloved. A quick etymology search on the website Balashon.com informed me that the Hebrew dod is related to Syriac דדא for uncle or beloved, Mandaic, Nabatean and Palmyrene “dada” meaning father’s brother and the Arabic “dad” for foster-father. Balashon.com explains that the Hebrew dod is the most ancient Hebrew word for love and was probably a primitive caressing syllable taken from the sound “da-da” that babies make.

Savvy Auntie - Uncle T-Shirt Rabbi Jason
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Categories
Family

Becoming a Savvy Uncle

As a member of the SavvyAuntie.com group of experts, I am periodically asked to contribute blog posts to SavvyAuntie.com, the website created by Melanie Notkin. Since I am not an aunt myself (and never plan to be one), I often write about an aunt or uncle of mine or even my kids’ aunt. In my recent blog post for SavvyAuntie.com I wrote about how excited I am to finally, God willing, become an uncle:

I was one of the first guys among my friends to become a daddy. And fatherhood has dominated my life in a great way over the past decade. With three kids I often forget what my life was even like BC (before children).

While I’m very content begin a father, there has been something missing. I’ve been watching my friends become uncles for years. Even though I cherish my relationship with each of my kids, I’ve been eagerly awaiting “unclehood.” You see, my relationship with my late uncle was a special one. For ten years before Uncle Jerry had kids of his own I got to play basketball and tennis with him, go for long bike rides, and attend professional hockey games. He taught me to do fun things. He gave me my first summer job. And he always treated me a little older than I actually was – something uncles are supposed to do. Even as Uncle Jerry got children of his own, we still had that special uncle-nephew relationship. There are just things that uncles can do that dads can’t.

Jerry Gudes
With my Uncle Jerry
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