Category: Humor

Curb Your Enthusiasm Minyan with Bill Buckner

Post author By Rabbi Jason Miller
Post date September 7, 2011

Larry David’s TV show “Curb Your Enthusiasm” on HBO is known for forging into new territory for television shows. This most recent episode certainly marked a few TV firsts. To begin with, I don’t believe the following statement had ever been uttered on TV before: “I don’t wanna’ be in your stupid minyan anyway.”

I also believe this was the first time that the Jewish concept of a minyan was ever defined on a TV comedy. In one of the most creative episodes in the show’s history, Larry David attempted to revive the career of disgraced Boston Red Sox first baseman Bill Buckner. Just about 25 years ago in the 6th game of the World Series, Buckner botched a slow rolling hit off the bat of the NY Mets’ Mookie Wilson to allow the winning run to score. The Red Sox eventually lost the World Series in the 7th and deciding game.

Larry David brought in Mookie Wilson and Bill Buckner as guest stars in this episode which gave Buckner the opportunity to poke fun at his fielding error from a quarter century ago. But the highlight of the episode was the minyan scene.

As Larry is walking on the street with Bill Buckner, they are approached by a Jewish man (played by Jerry Adler who was Hesh on the Sopranos) who asks if they are Jewish. Buckner says he’s not and Larry is reluctant to answer affirmatively. The man explains that it’s an emergency and they need one more to make a minyan to say Kaddish before going to the cemetery. Larry explains to the confused Buckner that a minyan is “when a Jewish person dies you need to have ten men in a room to say a prayer.”

Before heading up to the apartment Larry asks Buckner if he’s ever had Jewish food before to which he responds, “Koufax gave me some kishka one time.” Once they actually make it to the shiva* one of the men refuses to allow Buckner in the room since, as a devout Red Sox fan, he can never forgive Buckner for his error in the 1986 World Series. I guess it wasn’t the best pre-Rosh Hashanah message about forgiving others for their mistakes.

*As Ami Eden of JTA correctly noted, there’s no shiva minyan before a funeral (only after). Apparently no one on the show consulted with a rabbi on that one. Oh well, it was still a hilarious episode in my opinion. Here’s the clip:

Athletes Baseball Humor Jewish

Hebrew Hammer Hinders Homer Hobbling Home

Post author By Rabbi Jason Miller
Post date September 2, 2011

Ryan Braun, known as the “Hebrew Hammer”, is having a remarkable year. The Milwaukee Brewers’ All-Star left fielder, who was the National League’s Rookie of the Year in 2007, has 25 home runs so far this season. He’s also on his way to becoming one of the best Jewish players Major League Baseball has ever seen. He’s also helping his team have one of their best seasons ever.

In recognition of his great season with the Brewers, Braun and some teammates were featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated this week. Of course, that honor had people in Milwaukee nervous. Would the infamous Sports Illustrated Jinx affect Braun and Brewers? I’m not sure if the SI Jinx was in effect Wednesday night, but Braun committed one of the worst base running bloopers I’ve ever seen.

Braun was attempting an inside-the-park homer on Wednesday night when he tripped and fell between third base and home plate. He was easily tagged out as he got to his feet and tried to run back to third base. Not only did the TV cameras catch Braun shamefully walking back to the dugout, but they also caught former NBA star Reggie Miller laughing at Braun’s slip and fall from the stands.

Inside-the-park home runs are an uncommon feat in baseball and Braun blew his chance to add one to his impressive statistics. But Braun did give his teammates some good material for a major league prank. Braun’s teammates Yovani Gallardo, Shaun Marcum and Marcus Hanel created a crime scene with Braun’s body outlines along the third base line. Here’s a photo of their handy work:

It’s great to see Ryan Braun having such a great season. I’m hoping that his Brewers get a chance to meet my Detroit Tigers in the World Series this year. I first met Braun during his rookie season when the Milwaukee Brewers were in Phoenix to play the Arizona Diamondbacks. The Brewers were staying at the same hotel where I was staying and I had a chance to talk with Braun while he waited for the team bus. I told him it was great to have another Jewish player in Major League Baseball and some of his teammates sitting close by were surprised to learn he was Jewish (I guess that isn’t something that a rookie broadcasts in the big leagues).

Braun told me that he lived for a short period of his childhood with his grandfather in a house that previously belonged the great Hank Greenberg. If Braun keeps playing the way he has, that house won’t be the only thing he shares with Hank Greenberg.

Antisemitism Celebrities Humor Jewish Ritual

Kippah Your Head Covering Outta My Office

Post author By Rabbi Jason Miller
Post date August 9, 2011

Kippah. Yarmulke. Beanie. Skullcap. You can call it whatever you want, but the Jewish head covering has been in the news and in pop culture a lot lately.

The New York Post reports that an Italian man is suing McKinsey & Co., the international consulting firm, claiming he was fired after repeatedly complaining to human resources that his colleagues made fun of his yarmulke. Ciro Rosselli claims in papers filed in Manhattan federal court yesterday that he wore a yarmulke in the McKinsey & Co. offices where he worked as an executive assistant and was discriminated against for it. I know there are several McKinsey & Co. employees who wear a yarmulke to work. Rosselli’s case is interesting, however, because he’s not even Jewish. He was wearing the Jewish head covering while practicing “theosophy,” an obscure spiritual philosophy that maintains that “there is no higher religion than truth.”

Rosselli’s colleagues at McKinsey & Co. gave him a hard time about his kippah. He claims his boss compared him to Madonna, the Kaballah-loving celebrity who has embraced Judaism despite the fact that she’s Christian. Another co-worker suggested that Rosselli was just trying “to hide his bald spot.” According to the lawsuit Rosselli filed, one co-worker said he wasn’t a “real Jew” and another demanded that he “take that [yarmulke] off! You’re creeping me out!” Rosselli’s lawsuit seeks unspecified money damages from McKinsey & Co. for discrimination and retaliation.

The kippah has also made its way into pop culture. It’s become more common to see actors wearing a yarmulke on television shows (Jeffrey Tambor on “Arrested Development” or Jeremy Priven on “Entourage) and in the movies (Ben Stiller in “Keeping the Faith” or Owen Wilson in “Meet the Parents”). But this is just to let the audience know they are playing Jewish characters.

In a recent episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” the kippah was the punchline. Like he did as a writer on “Seinfeld,” Larry David draws on real life situations for “Curb” and shows how humorous they are. I’m sure that living in Los Angeles, Larry David has encountered middle-aged Jewish people who suddenly embrace Jewish observance. And that was precisely the situation he wrote for Bob Einstein, who plays the dentist Marty Funkhowser on the show. In the “Palestinian Chicken” episode, Larry attends a dinner party where Funkhowser, wearing a yarmulke, explains that he’s recently undergone a spiritual awakening following his divorce and mid-life crisis. He has been meeting with a female rabbi each night who has influenced him to become more religious (saying the blessings before meals, wearing a kippah and even considering “Koufaxing” his friends by not playing in the golf tournament on Shabbat).

In this scene (video below), Funkhowser is about to enter a Palestinian chicken restaurant wearing his large velvet yarmulke, but Larry David and Jeff Garlin (playing Jeff Greene) won’t allow it.

I started wearing a yarmulke when I was four-years-old at my synagogue-based pre-school, and then continued to wear it at my Jewish day school in Detroit and whenever I was in a synagogue. During my freshman year of college I decided to wear a yarmulke all the time. At first I probably wore it as a sign of Jewish solidarity and then later for more religious reasons. Today, I cynically joke that I wear it simply to cover my bald spot, although truth be told it probably has protected my head from getting sunburned every now and then.

Leo Rosten claims that the word “yarmulke” comes from the Tatar word for skullcap. However, I think it’s more likely from the Aramaic “yira malka” meaning “awe of the king” as a sign of respect to God. Whatever one’s reason for wearing a yarmulke, they deserve to be treated with respect. Whether you’re an Italian New Yorker experimenting with many religions or a spiritually renewed Jewish dentist going to eat some Middle Eastern chicken.

Advertising Humor Marketing Rabbis Religion

Rabbi As Pitchman?

Post author By Rabbi Jason Miller
Post date August 1, 2011

Advertising is all around us. It’s become impossible to find an event or location that doesn’t have corporate sponsorship attached to it. Product placement has become the norm in movies and TV shows. And it seems like everyone has an endorsement deal these days.

On Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert begged Apple for an iPad 2 and then become a shill for the company. He also branded his presidential run “Hail to the Cheese: Stephen Colbert Nacho Cheese Doritos 2008 Presidential Campaign Coverage.” After winning a Peabody Award, he thanked Doritos for its support.

NASCAR drivers (and their cars) and pro golfers look like walking billboards. Celebs are seen carrying their Starbucks cup with the label facing the eager paparazzi for free publicity. What’s next, tattoo advertising for NBA basketball players? Yes, in fact a candy company once approached the agent for the Portland Trailblazer’s Rasheed Wallace to inquire about buying space on his flesh. Apparently there was still some open real estate for a billboard on his already heavily tattooed body.

Earlier this year, filmmaker Morgan Spurlock lampooned the burgeoning business of product placement. Spurlock even sold the naming rights to his movie: “Pom Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold.” Everything is for sale. You can go to a sporting event in an arena named for a corporation, receive a giveaway sponsored by another corporation and then watch the halftime show generously underwritten by yet another corporation.

It seems like everyone’s a pitchman today. Anyone can hawk a product or drop the name of a corporation for financial gain. But what about clergy? Can religious leaders sell out too? Er, I mean can rabbis and priests get in on this deal? For instance, can rabbis mention a few products in a sermon and get paid for it? Can I insist that the wine used at the wedding ceremony be a specific brand and then make certain the photographer catches me pouring from that bottle? What if rabbis started wearing Nike lapel pins on suits? Or if rabbis let the congregation know that the flowers decorating the pulpit are from 1-800-FLOWERS and were delivered by Fed/Ex. Perhaps before services begin, the rabbi could remind the congregation to please silence their Apple iPhones on the Verizon network. Perhaps a rabbi could even sell space on his blog to a mortgage company?

What got me thinking about these endorsement deals for religious leaders was when I viewed the viral video of Pastor Joe Nelms of Family Baptist Church delivering the invocation at a NASCAR race last week in Tennessee. The pastor wanted to give a prayer that would be remembered so he borrowed from Will Ferrell’s memorable grace before the meal in the movie “Talladega Nights.” In the movie, Will Ferrell gave thanks to the various fast food companies that had provided food for his family’s dinner and then, according to his endorsement deal, he mentioned Powerade.

What people will remember most about Pastor Joe’s prayer are the humorous lines in which he thanked the Almighty for his “smokin’ hot wife and two kids” and then borrowed NASCAR Hall of Famer Darrell Waltrip’s trademark phrase in the closing of his benediction: “In Jesus’ name. Boogity, boogity, boogity. Amen.” However, the Baptist pastor also managed to mention several sponsors of the NASCAR race that night including Dodge, Toyota, and Ford, as well as Sunoco Racing Fuel and Goodyear tires. Pastor Nelms claims he wasn’t compensated for mentioning those companies, but it does raise the question of whether religious leaders are missing a lucrative opportunity.

I’m not the first to think of clergy as pitchmen either. After the death of famous pitchman Billy Mays, there were rumors that Orange Glo International, makers of OxiClean, was interested in hiring Pastor Rick Warren of the Saddleback Church as the new commercial pitchman for their well-known laundry stain remover.

Maybe these clergy endorsement deals are already taking place. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, writing in the Huffington Post today about his eldest daughter’s upcoming wedding, managed to drop the name of both the caterer and country club where his daughter’s wedding will take place. Was there a behind-the-scenes deal in which promises of a mention on HuffPo would translate into discounted fees for the wedding reception hall and catering? Who knows. He just might be on to something.

Maybe, next time at the end of services when a rabbi announces where the next congregational book club meeting will take place, he’ll consider appending his announcement like this:

“Please join us on Sunday afternoon for our monthly book club discussion. We will discuss a new book published by HarperCollins, which is available for purchase on Amazon.com. We’ll enjoy Snyders of Hanover pretzels and drink icy cold soft drinks from the Coca Cola Company. The book club will take place at the Feldmans’ new home, which they recently purchased with a shockingly low rate mortgage from Quicken Loans.”

Celebrities Hebrew Humor Language Politics Yiddish

Michele Bachman’s Choot-spa Moment

Post author By Rabbi Jason Miller
Post date July 18, 2011

While I am certainly no Yiddish maven, I know enough words and phrases to know that when someone mispronounces a Yiddish word it hurts my ears. For my maternal grandmother, who is fluent in Yiddish, when someone mangles the language of our eastern-European ancestors it really hurts her ears.

So, the other day when I heard Rep. Michele Bachman on Fox News attempt to pepper her kvetching about President Obama with a Yiddish word, I just figured that her botching of the Yiddish must have rendered my grandmother legally deaf.

Certain Yiddish words and phrases (Yiddishisms if you will) have entered the English language and should be treated as regular words. Maven, macher, kvetch, heimish, shtick, schlep, shpiel, klutz, nebish and kibbitz no longer require italics because they’re used routinely in English conversation. This means that they should be pronounced correctly. Now, I don’t expect non-Jews to be able to get out the guttural “ch” sound (as in Bach) when it comes to words like Chanukkah, l’chayim or tuchus. But at least pronounce them with the “h” sound rather than the “ch” sound as in Cheney or choo-choo.

Michele Bachman’s failing attempt to pronounce the word “chutzpah” correctly last week was nothing short of ignorant. The Think Progress blog summed up Michele Bachman’s “Yiddish fail” this way: “Like many of her GOP colleagues, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) has positioned herself as a staunch defender of Israel and friend of Jews everywhere against President Obama’s supposed lack of Jewish support. But she ran into some trouble while trying to trying to show off her Yiddish skills on Fox News last night, pronouncing the word “Chutzpah” — meaning audacity — as “choot-spa.” As with “Chanukah,” the “ch” should be pronounced as an “h” sound, but apparenly Bachmann missed that lesson in pandering school.”

Jon Stewart obviously couldn’t let Bachman’s gaffe go by without making fun of her. The host of the Daily Show deadpanned: “Choot-spa… it sounds like she’s talking out of her Tu-tzis!”

Here’s the video of Bachman’s chutzpadik comment:

Yiddish really is a wonderful language. The fusion of Hebrew and German yields many clever words and phrases, blessings and curses. While many Jews no longer speak Yiddish, it is no longer a dying language either. The Yiddish Book Center in Amherst, Massachusetts and dozens of Yiddish departments at universities around the world are ensuring that the Yiddish language continues. Throughout the country there exist Yiddish clubs made up of young and old Yiddish enthusiasts who enjoy speaking Yiddish. In fact, the 14th conference of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs is taking place at the end of this summer right here in the Metro Detroit area.

I love when old Jewish men ask me if I speak Yiddish. “Redstu Yiddish?” they ask and I respond, “A Bissel.” I then throw out the handful of Yiddish phrases my grandparents taught me that are mostly things grandparents tell kids when they complain of boredom (Like “Go knock your head against the wall!”).

I’m glad that so many Yiddish words are now a part of everyday English. I just hope politicians like Michele Bachman make sure they hear the word pronounced before attempting to use it. Oh well… zei gezundt!

Comedy Humor Jon Stewart Orthodox Judaism Shabbat Television

The Daily Show Raises the Eruv

Post author By Rabbi Jason Miller
Post date March 24, 2011

There are certain obscure laws in Judaism that one doesn’t expect to be explained and debated on Comedy Central. Certainly the “legal fiction” known as an eruv is one of these.

According to Jewish law, a Jewish person is forbidden from carrying (or even pushing a baby stroller) from one domain to another on the Sabbath or Jewish holidays. There are actually several types of eruvin (plural) that allow Jewish people to circumnavigate what is forbidden on Shabbat, including the eruv tavshilin that allows us to cook meals for Shabbat on Jewish festivals.

On last night’s episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart on Comedy Central, correspondent Wyatt Cenac took up the ongoing debate in Westhampton Beach, Long Island as to whether to allow for an eruv (thin wire attached to existing electrical poles that gives the appearance that all the homes are within the same domain for carrying on Shabbat). The secular Jews of this town object to the erection of an eruv as they believe it will turn their town over to an Orthodox Jewish majority as has happened in other locales.

The segment is humorous, but also tainted with the type of infighting and vitriol that Samuel Freedman wrote about in his book, Jew vs. Jew: The Struggle for the Soul of American Jewry .

Here is the video:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Rabbi Jason Miller
The Thin Jew Line (Eruv)
www.thedailyshow.com

Celebrities Hollywood Humor Jewish Rabbi Rabbis

Isla Fisher Wants to Be a Rabbi

Post author By Rabbi Jason Miller
Post date March 11, 2011

Music Rooms reports that the actress Isla Fisher (“Wedding Crashers”), the wife of comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, joked that after converting to Judaism she now wants to become a rabbi.

Isla became engaged to the comedian in 2004, and studied for three years before completing her conversion in early 2007. The 35-year-old star took on the Hebrew name Ayala, the Hebrew word for Doe. Isla has joked she is so enamoured with the religion that she’s thinking of becoming a rabbi.

“You study, then have a test. In fact, I’m thinking of becoming a mohel. [Pause] If you knew what a mohel was, you’d laugh. It’s a rabbi who circumcises boys,” she told the April edition of Elle.

Perhaps before becoming a rabbi, Fisher should watch this video, made by YouTube user CFIDSgurl using xtranormal.

Holidays Humor Jewish JTS Music Purim

Raise Your Glass – The Maccabeats Purim Song

Post author By Rabbi Jason Miller
Post date March 8, 2011

This year is a leap year on the Jewish calendar so there is a second month of Adar. The fun and silly holiday of Purim occurs this month and that means the levity has begun. Two funny videos for Purim are already attracting quite a bit of attention on YouTube.

The Yeshiva University a capella group The Maccabeats have followed their smash hit for Hanukkah with a Purim version of Pink’s “Raise Your Glass.” It might not go viral like “Candlelight” did (4.725 million views and counting), but it’s fun nevertheless.

Yael Buechler, a very creative senior student in the rabbinical school at the Jewish Theological Seminary in New York, created a video parody of Sesame Street’s Bert and Ernie starring the Seminary’s Chancellor Arnie Eisen (“Ernie”) and Professor Burt Visotzsky (“Bert”). Yael told me that students have joked about Burt as “Bert” and Arnie as “Ernie” for a number of years (probably for as long as Eisen has been chancellor). Since Buechler’s recent video creations have become very popular within the JTS community, she explained that the Chancellor and Rabbi Visotzky were eager to be in this latest hit. She wrote the script based on a Bert and Ernie scene and substituted the Purim pastry hamantaschen for pizza. As you can see, Eisen and Visotzky did some ad libbing as well. Even though I took a few courses with Prof. Visotzky, I was not aware of his dead-on Bert impersonation. It’s great to see these academics be such good sports for the sake of some Purim fun.

Jacob Richman has posted 68 Purim videos on his website. Check it out.
More Purim fun to come!

Conservative Judaism Humor Jon Stewart Rabbi Rabbis satire

Conservative Rabbi on The Daily Show

Post author By Rabbi Jason Miller
Post date February 4, 2011

My colleague, Rabbi Gideon Estes of Congregation Or Ami, played the straight man last night on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. After Justin Bieber opened the show pretending to be Jon Stewart, Estes had a tough act to follow, but did a great job.

Daily Show correspondent John Oliver went down to Texas to file a story about the campaign of a Jewish Republican man to be re-elected speaker of the Texas State House. Estes, wearing his Jewish Theological Seminary tallit (prayer shawl), was interviewed by Oliver about the opposition to Joe Strauss being re-elected because he is Jewish and not a Christian conservative.

At the end of the segment, John Oliver celebrates his creation of a new high holiday called “Yom Chechechecheh” with the Hebrew School children at Estes’ congregation.

Check out the video below:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

RabbiJason.com

Conservative Rabbi Gideon Estes on The Daily Show

www.thedailyshow.com

Humor International Relations Jon Stewart News Politics satire

Joe Lieberman Tapped for Egyptian Government Post

Post author By Rabbi Jason Miller
Post date February 4, 2011

While I’m no Jon Stewart or Andy Borowitz when it comes to political satire, I have had the following funny situation playing in my head ever since the riots in Egypt began:

PRESS CONFERENCE IN CAIRO, EGYPT

Joe Lieberman: Thank you for joining me here today in Cairo. I know it’s only been a few weeks since my press conference where I announced I’ll retire from the Senate and not seek re-election. However, I have a major announcement to make yet again. Hosni Mubarak, the president of Egypt, has appointed me Foreign Minister over this country.

CNN Reporter: Mr. Lieberman, when will you begin?

Joe Lieberman: The appointment is effective today… it’s immediate in light of the chaos that currently plagues Egypt. I will be the second in command. And no Jewish man has ever held such a position of power in Egypt.

Fox Reporter: Uh, that’s not actually true sir, have you read the Jewish Bible?

Joe Lieberman: Right, good point. Well, I am the first man named Joseph to…

Fox Reporter: No, that’s not quite right either Mr. Lieberman.

Joe Lieberman: Well, anyway, there’s a lot of work to be done. I’d like to thank the Pharoah, er, I mean the President for his faith in me. You know when he called me on the phone to ask me to come down here, he said he never dreamed that the political situation could get so bad. But I told him that he had in fact dreamed that it would get this bad. I keep telling him that.

AP Reporter: What will be your first order of business to calm the masses who are rioting in the street?

Joe Lieberman: I came up with this great idea to stockpile food because you just never know. I’ve been in pits before and I think that in time we can get these people to start building. Thank you very much for your time today and God Bless Egypt!

Al Jazeera Reporter: Have a good Shabbos Vizier Lieberman!